Blood is thicker than water, but you are much better off with a cup of tea

‘𝗕𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿’ – ‘𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗰𝘂𝗽 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗲𝗮’

𝗜𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 ‘𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴’ (𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲! 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗱!)

𝗢𝗥

‘𝗧𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮’ (𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲, 𝘄𝗲 𝗽𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝗮𝘀𝗺𝗮 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹 ‘𝗪𝘆𝘁𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗻’ 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝘆𝗹𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗮!)

In terms of a full and rounded education, the probability of you needing this obscure fact is 1%. The probability of you forgetting that fact the moment it's needed is 99%. Be warned, it is the most important information that you will ever need to store for future use.

I challenge you, the next time that you are out in polite society, not to think about this, as you order “a nice pot of tea please!”

Meanwhile, back in high-command, Grump was still smelling of fish, as he struggled with achieving his ‘locating o’lads’ through the very expensive Tracking System that he was certain was lodged on their van. Certainty is much like probability.

Trying to calm his shattered nerves, he ‘put kettle orn’! A cuppa was not the answer, but it always helps. In fact it is ‘official’ that a cup of tea doesn't just calm the nerves; it's a magical, temperate lukewarm reset button for your entire life.

If a situation can't be fixed by a proper cuppa, you've officially moved past 'stress' and into 'call a priest' territory."

Much like a moon landing, there is a proper sequence to follow to ensure that the ‘relax mode’ is correctly unlocked and that the landing is safe and secure. It is a code-breaker moment…..stop and count down through the layers of preparation!

Oh the unsweetened taste of a cup of tea, delivered correctly! If you are a dancer, then you will appreciate the timbre, the theatre and the final bow of:

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗽𝗵𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗧𝗲𝗮 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗥𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹 (enjoy the trip, it will enrich your life)

The server typically brings a tray with the teapot (containing the perfectly brewed tea), a jug of fresh milk, a bowl of sugar cubes, and the guest's porcelain cup and saucer.

𝟭. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 (𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗲𝗮 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲)

The host or server should pour the tea first from the teapot into the cup.

• The teapot should be held steady, and the tea poured slowly to avoid splashes.

• The cup should be filled to about three-quarters full—never to the brim. This leaves room for milk or sugar and allows the guest to carry the cup without spilling.

𝟮. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗱𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 (𝗠𝗶𝗹𝗸/𝗦𝘂𝗴𝗮𝗿)

The tea is then offered to the guest to customize. Never add milk or sugar for the guest unless specifically requested.

• Milk: The milk jug is presented, and the guest adds milk to their preference. Traditionally, milk is poured after the tea, contrary to the old 'M.I.T.' (Milk in First) method used when delicate china might crack from boiling water. Modern porcelain is robust, so the tea goes first.

• Sugar: Sugar cubes are offered with sugar tongs. The guest should use the tongs to place the desired number of cubes into the cup.

𝟯. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 (𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗽)

This is where technique matters most.

• The guest should gently stir the tea by moving the teaspoon back and forth (or up and down) from the 12 o'clock to the 6 o'clock position in the cup, without tapping the sides. It should be a silent, delicate motion—not a vigorous circular swirl.

• Crucially, the teaspoon is removed from the cup and placed neatly on the saucer behind the cup handle. Never leave the spoon in the cup while drinking.

4. The Drinking (The Handle Hold)

• To drink, the guest lifts the cup only, leaving the saucer on the table.

• The handle should be held with the thumb and index finger, with the middle finger supporting the bottom of the handle. Pinkies should remain tucked in! Extending the little finger is an outdated and non-traditional gesture.

• The tea is gently sipped, not slurped.

Now that you are suitably prepared, back to the treadmill!

𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲

If you thought that we had finished with Klaus, we have only just got started with this charming knobbly kneed Hanseatic gentleman!